We’re pupils from Runnymede college
You can tell from our jackets and ties
We bought them at Galerias Preciados
You can see they’re not quite the right size.

But we’re still proud to be scholars
Of a school with so famous a name
Yet our teachers complain of our writing
When King John put a cross not his name.

The bus picks us up every morning
And takes us to school in grand style
We stand in the playground and shiver
And then we go in “Single File!”

When we’ve paid for our swimming and riding
And answered our name with a grin
We take out our pens and our pencils
First lesson’s about to begin.

Maths books at the ready boys
Miss Harvey’s coming now
She’s not one to tell you twice
To do these sums somehow.

Add, subtract, divide and multiply
Is what we do
Simultaneous equations
Graphs, geometry, too.

English now, can I have your attention
For this next comprehension
That I want you to do
Otherwise you’ll get a detention
Marks are low, he says our work is rotten
Once again we are bottom
So let’s try something new.

How about… French!

Miss Pigeon, how do you expect us
to speak French just like you?
English is quite hard enough
as we come from Timbuktu.

Puff, there goes a test tube
Experiments always fail
With bars around the windows
The lab looks like a jail
Fifteen to a Bunsen
Too many you may say
But we are told it’s for our good
It’s science the Watson way.

Red and yellow and pink and blue
Splashing the paint all around
I have made a picture
That’s a picture?
That will never do.

Here’s the headmaster
Better make sure you have filled in your records of work
We never shirk
Look at him rushing
Into the classroom with so many things he must tell
Then ring the bell

Where’s your swimming money?
Forgotten it again
Bring it in tomorrow
Or from swimming you’ll refrain
Ooooooo look at all those house points mounting
End of the term we’ll all be counting.

Telephone rings, meals to be served
Doors to be answered, letters to type
Who’s the one who does it all? …Mrs. Powell!
We love you yeah, yeah, yeah,
Without you here, it wouldn’t be the same.

There’s one other teacher
Whose name I forget
He runs the guitar club
I’ll learn those chords yet!
A minor C minor B minor D
E minor F minor G back to E.

Two wheels on his wagon
And he’s still rolling along
The Upper Third are after him
Music first and then comes gym
And we’re singing a happy song.

Vallehermoso gives us a thrill
If it gets much colder it’ll give us a chill
Running and jumping, and having a fall
For Runnymede College
That’ll be all
Oooo, oooo, oooo, oooo…